What do you want?

It’s that time of the year when we look ahead and make plans with new year resolutions, the outcome we want to achieve. Unfortunately, research has shown that our state has changed by week two, and we have given up on the outcome. Why?  

States

A state is a way of being in any moment. It comes from our physiology, thinking and emotions; it’s the sum of all our neurological and physiological process. Our states vary in intensity, length and familiarity. The calmer the state, the easier it is to think rationally.

States always have an emotional component — our state changes throughout the day. States affect our capabilities. Have you ever said to your-self “I’m not in the right state of mind to deal with this at the moment?” How well you perform depends on what state you are in. So, whatever the task you have to perform and the outcome you want, ask your-self “what state do I want to be in to make this easy and possible”.

Although we often believe that states are caused by events outside our control, we create our states for ourselves. The greatest gift you can give to your-self is the ability to choose your state.

We normally think that our emotion goes inside out. In other words, if I feel happy inside, I will smile, and the smile appears to the outside world in my physiology. However, research shows that emotion goes outside in. Change your physiology, and your emotions change. When I smile, and you smile in return, that smile passes on happiness to you.

States affect our capabilities. There are no unresourceful people, just unresourceful states.

Excerpt courtesy The coaching academy NLP Practitioner

Outcomes

What do you want? An outcome is what you want – the desired state of harmony between your thinking, feeling and doing that you don’t have in your present state.

Outcomes ‘come out’ when we achieve them, hence the name, and the first step towards achieving them is to think them through carefully, that’s why our resolutions may not last?

By setting an outcome, we become aware of the difference between what we have and what we want. The difference is the ‘problem’. When you have an outcome and are clear about your desired state, then you can plan the journey gap from one to the other.

This is where I help my clients discover the “who, why, what and when” they become proactive, take ownership of the problem, and start moving towards a solution. When you do not know what you want, you are like a rudderless ship at the mercy of the wind and currents heading to somewhere and nowhere.

An outcome is not the same as a task. An outcome is what you want. A task is what you have to do to achieve it. Don’t do a task until you set your outcome or a goal.

Excerpt courtesy of Joseph O’Connor NLP workbook

 

Problems cannot be solved unless you have an outcome

Conclusion

The next time you decide to make a resolution and want to succeed with the outcome, make sure you are in the right state of mind.

Keep safe and well

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