Think of your life as a journey down a road. You don’t know where you are heading, but the scenery is pleasant. After a while, you begin to see that it is being recycled. Wait a while, and the same thing comes around again. Then you come to a branch in the road. Actually, there have been branches all along the road, but you haven’t noticed them. Or if you have, you were comfortable on that road, so you ignored them. Now, however, you have a coach to alert you. You change direction, ever so slightly. You take another road, one that diverges just a little from your original.
The first temptation is to think, ‘huh! Hardly worth doing.’ It may be true that the change is only a small one in the short term. But the longer you maintain that change, the further away from your original road you will travel. After a year, you will be in an entirely different country. This will be so even if you never make another change.
The larger the change in direction, the shorter the time it will take to come to new scenery. However, even the slightest change will take you on a different journey if you persist. You just need to keep on that new track, even though the old one may call you back with seductive promises of familiar comforts. ’The devil, you know,’ it whispers, ‘is better than the devil you don’t know.’ But is there a devil on the new road?
What is the role of a coach in this process? A coach does three things:
- Shows you the track you are on.
- Points out the choices and helps you take a new road.
- Helps you persist in the change.
In general, life is a series of small decisions. A big change is often many little changes saved up for the right moment. Each decision we make either keeps us on the same comfortable track or takes us towards what we truly want. Coaching helps us decide.
Extracts courtesy of Joseph O’Connor and Andrea Lages
Five simple steps to change
A simple formula to address any area you want to change what I like to call my
What Why How and When = Change
Here are the actions steps to change:
What do you want to change? What is it you really want to change? these first few coaching sessions focus on what is it you really want. What’s important to you. We go behind the scenes to discover your values and beliefs, we delve into the story of your life, and we get to read the script you have written, for your life, your operating manual for your existence.
Why do you want to change it? Your why must be an emotional, burning desire to change, otherwise, why are you doing it? In these sessions, we look at where you are now concerning the change you want to make. What progress have you made towards achieving the outcome, what’s stopped you doing more? What obstacle are you facing? What hasn’t happened for you? We get to look at all your opinions, judgements, expectations, hopes and concerns. We get to see the reality objectively.
How you are going to get the change? This is the fun part, in these sessions we get to play outside the box. This is where we get to discover the ‘what if’. What if anything was possible what could you do to take you one step closer to the change you want to make. What if you could not fail, what if you had all the time and money, what would your superhero do?
When you are going to get the change by? We start to put all the pieces together. The What, Why, How and finally When. Because if we don’t have a firm date when this is going to be achieved, it’s just been a conversation. This final session we wrap, we finalise what ‘how’ you are going to choose? When by? What support do you need? What could stop you?
Change. We review the steps you achieved to complete the change.