“To establish true self-confidence, we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” — Denis Waitley
I know what you’re thinking … easier said than done, right?
Nobody is born with high or low self-confidence. Confidence is a feeling that people develop and work on over time. For most people, confidence is something that comes and goes.
Think about it in terms of a cycle: When someone is at the top of the cycle, they are focused on their successes and accomplishments, meaning they might feel confident and strong. But when they are at the bottom of their cycle, they are focused on their failures and may feel low self-confidence or even defeat.
If you can identify with the feeling I’m referring to at the bottom of the confidence cycle, know you’re not alone. Everyone struggles with self-confidence every now and then. The key is realizing that confidence is like a muscle — the more you work on it, the easier it will become for you to use and maintain.
Confidence IS ABOUT TAKING ACTION, taking a risk stepping out of our comfort and into our stretching zone, because this is where the muscle will grow.
Confidence is about not being afraid to fail, taking action, taking that first step into the unknown.
When a client comes to me with low self-confidence, the first question I ask them is;
‘What area of your life do lack confidence in?’ you see people tend to generalise and assume they lack confidence across the board, but, in reality by breaking down this ‘belief’ a coach will begin to uncover the clients story and limiting belief around their lack of confidence which will usually be in just one area, so for example; they might be extremely confident at work but their personal relationship with their partner might be low, so this would be the area that a coach will work on.
What Is Self-Confidence?
Self-confidence is the feeling you have when you strut into a job interview knowing you’re going to impress the hiring manager. A person feels confident when they believe they can successfully do something by applying their judgement, knowledge, and prior experiences.
How Does Self Confidence Impact Your Life?
Think about a time when you felt extremely confident in your ability to do something.
Did you feel an adrenaline rush? Did you feel strong and powerful? Did you feel as though you could conquer the world?
Self-confidence does a lot of things for us. It boosts our self-esteem, diminishes stress, and often pushes us to act. But most importantly, it makes us feel good about
Your happiness and self-esteem will increase
Self-esteem is closely related to confidence but has a slightly different definition — it is a person’s evaluation of their self-worth and value.
There is a direct correlation between confidence and self-esteem. When you believe in yourself — your talents, capabilities, worth, and potential — both your self-esteem and confidence increase.
When your self-esteem increases, you believe you are worthy of the life you dream of and the success you desire. Not only will you become more confident, but you will more easily accept your failures, give yourself the credit you deserve, accept new challenges, and become happier.
In fact, self-esteem always exists with happiness — and there are studies to prove it. In almost every instance, people who feel good about themselves are significantly happier than those who lack self-worth. When self-confidence increases, your self-esteem, and happiness do the same.
Your stress and anxiety will decrease
The feeling of low confidence and not being good or smart enough often manifests as stress or anxiety. And in extreme cases, it can even turn your body’s fight or flight mode on, which isn’t ideal unless you’re being chased by a hungry lion (or are experiencing another life or death situation).
Stress and anxiety on a regular basis can be detrimental to your self-confidence. These feelings cause excess release of cortisol and norepinephrine in the brain — making our bodies feel out of control and overwhelmed.
Unless you are actually trying to avoid becoming the lion’s lunch, there’s no reason to feel these feelings. And you certainly don’t want them just because your math teacher called you up to the board to complete a problem. Stress and anxiety can cloud your judgment and prevent you from thinking logically.
When stress and anxiety fade away, the excess release of cortisol and norepinephrine in the brain come to a halt. You are able to believe and trust in your abilities again, think logically, and feel as though you are ready to tackle new challenges that come your way — you’ll jump back to the top of that confidence cycle.