Essentially, manipulation is using various tactics (like threats, isolating a partner from friends and family, and/or gaslighting) as a means of control over another person. This can lead to serious health effects for the person being controlled, like depression, anxiety, and distrust of others. Does your partner threaten to leave if you don’t do “X, Y, or Z?” Have you noticed, since the beginning of your relationship, that you have become more and more isolated from friends and family? Does your partner expect you to ask permission to go out or spend money? If yes, these are highly controlling patterns that could be damaging to your mental and physical health.
What to Do If You Think You’re In an Unhealthy Relationship
If you feel that you may be in a toxic relationship and you want out, there are several options. Try reaching out to a trusted loved one or friend who can help you start the process of moving forward. There are also several hotlines and organizations that can help you if you feel your safety is at risk. If you are committed to staying together, it is definitely possible to work through these issues if you and your partner are willing to do the work. “If the two of you generally like one another and are aligned in your life values…then it is certainly possible that your relationship may be salvageable,” says Brown. Reach out to a trained couples counselor or therapist who can offer tools and practices to better your communication and habits. And remember: No relationship is worth your mental and physical health. You don’t have to settle for less.