Often, we mistake possibility for competence. We think something is not possible when in fact we just do not know how to do it.

Everything is simple when you know how to do it. I wish I knew that years ago, instead of beating myself up and telling myself I was useless.

Everything you have ever learnt and mastered started with not knowing how to do it, from learning to walk, riding a bicycle, driving a car. I remember how daunting it was on my first driving lesson, mirror, signal manoeuvre as well as having to master clutch control. Impossible, I thought!

We set ourselves up for failure; we mistake competence and knowledge for failure when all it is, is lack of knowledge, lack of know-how. I come across this all the time when coaching, mainly a client, has not achieved the outcome they wanted. I tell them “you don’t know what you don’t know. Yet”. If you don’t know how to do it, how could you possibly achieve it?

What story have you told yourself about trying to achieve something?

You have not yet reached the limit of what you are capable of. The only way you can prove you are capable of achieving a goal is when you achieve it. Until then, you don’t know, so it is better to believe you can. It is just as realistic to believe you can as to believe you cannot.

You can never prove you cannot achieve a goal because you cannot prove a negative. You can only say that you have not achieved it YET.